Chain surfing

Try this on a Friday night in London's East End and see what happens....

Jacques Rogge v's Usain Bolt

Jacques Rogge has told Usain Bolt to show more respect for opponents after the Jamaican claimed the first sprint double for 24 years.

First of all you're Belgian - let's deal with that. Belgium and indeed the Belgians are not renowned for showing their emotions - some would say that the majority are very boring - not me though, oh no.

Secondly Jacques, what you perceive to be a champion and how the individual perceives himself are not necessarily going to be in line are they? I'm not sure you're in a position to tell Usain how to act in any case. You competed in 3 Olympics yet I couldn't see your medal tally........oh I see it now, it's a big fat zero.

Thirdly, you were partly responsible for taking the games to China. China Jacques, I mean what the fuck were you thinking? How much silver did you get for that by the way? - 30 pieces would sound about right.

Your words are of little relevance and your judgement seems at best, flawed. Stick to the surgery, it's probably best for everyone, at least there you can repair damage.

iPhone

Apple products = Micrososft products.

Both make products with faults, both use their loyal consumers to highlight them whilst the products are on sale. Both then improve the products and then sell the next generation product to the same people and a larger number of 2nd/3rd generation movers.

None of the above is ground breaking, so why I am seeing lots of press about the iPhone not working properly.

If you have an iPhone why don't you try to call me (it might sound like it but really I don't live on the moon)

Shall we just wait for the 3rd generation? Now we know we like the product but we'd like one to be fit for purpose if that isn't too much to ask.

Anyone from O2 want to jump in to this and claim that it's nothing to do with your network and purely a rather large glitch with the phone's chip, Infineon?

They've stated that it's not their fault and that the chips work perfectly well in Samsung phones that use them. - Moco News can give you much more info relating to this.

Cheers! to all those 2nd generation movers though, virtual Carling pint glugging to commence forthwith.

Tesco self service

It's all in the title "Self service".

And what do I get for my troubles........exactly. Nothing, apart from aggro when (and it does it pretty much every time) the machine gets stuck and then you wait..........until a cheery ever so helpful Tesco employee comes along to punch in a few keys (exactly what I feel like doing by this point) and we're on our way again.

Oh hold on, you have booze there.....ah well now you'll need to wait again until we check that your not under 18 and adding to the drunken masses that now (and always have done) swarm the country.

So here's the thing, and forgive me if this is a rant but it really fucks me off. And before anyone comments about going to another store - I don't have an option as there isn't another supermarket near me ok, so let me finish.

There is no incentive for me to use Self Service - no club points, not discounts, nothing - just a shitty machine (is it Amstrad I wonder?) that breaks down as soon as you go near it. It doesn't help with what is an already crap experience.

So Tesco, do me a favour or two.

Firstly, improve the self serve checkout - the technology blows like your Value sausages (No I haven't, I just read the content label)

Secondly, give me an incentive to use - let's face facts, I'm saving you a fair whack on staffing etc (you can't be paying a lot for those machines, if you are then you've been done) and since I'm doing the work, I want paid.

You're not a charity and neither am I.