Oh Sir Alan, please don't go.......ok off you pop.

Alan Sugar to step down from Amstrad. Is Amstrad still actually in business?!

Customer
Hi I'd like to buy some third rate ugly looking electrical goods that might break within days of purchase.

Salesperson
Well Sir, you certainly know what you want, don't you! How about this phone/email monstrosity. It's only about the size of your house, actually it fits 4 people quite comfortably. Obviously it will break down within threee months but just look at the finish on that. It's a beauty. In fact I have one of these myself, I shipped it to Spain and now use it as a holiday home.

Customer
That does sound appealing, but can I afford it?

Salesperson
Of course you can Sir, no home can afford to be without tat like this. At under £50 for the product and if you want we can charge you £7000 for the installation including strengthening your floor to accomodate the weight, it's a veritable bargain. I'd love to give you a discount but any less and I'd be doing myself. Shall we say £7500 spondoolies?

Customer
Done!

Salesperson
You certainly have been.